I'll Have to Say
by tiggersgirl
Summary: Harm sings for Mac in the middle of the night. I might have over rated it for language.


**This is my first fan fiction. I don't own JAG or this song, its Jim Croce's "I'll Have to Say I Love You in a Song". I am just a poor broke college student, reduced to giving her own blood because they give coupons for free food, so don't sue me.**

He rejected me once again, not in so many words. He actually didn't say anything at all, until he left; he told me he was sorry. Sorry! He has some nerve, to ask me to wait indefinitely, but how long can he actually expect me to wait? I joined the Marines not a convent; people tell me I'm attractive, I can't wait forever.

But I want to wait forever, I love him, I think I do anyway. He's my protector, every time some one else hurts me he just knows. I don't have to ask, he's just there supporting me, never pressuring, just supporting. I hope that means he loves me, but he can't say it. I need to hear it; Harm can show me, hell, he does show me. At least I think that's what he showing me. It can't be if it was he would be able to say it out loud to me.

"From now on, I will not sulk, cry, or think about Harm in any way other than professional." I promise myself out loud. "Who am I kidding? I can't bring myself to do that; it would hurt to damn much." I stare at the picture of the two of us in Afghanistan. "It can't hurt any more then this uncertainty does."

She nearly fell off the sofa when there was I knock on the door. Before she could get up to open it, she froze at the sound of a key. She grabbed her service pistol, and pointed it at the door. But lowered it at the sight of the intruder.

"Harm? What are you doing here? Why didn't you wait for me to let you in?"

"I was afraid to wait. There's some thing I need to tell you and I don't want to forget or lose my nerve again. I'm a trial lawyer, and I can't even get a coherent sentence out in front of you."

"What are you talking about? Harm are you alright?"

"Please Sarah, just let me do this; let me finish." He shrugged off his jacket, pulled out his guitar, and started singing.

"Well, I know it's kind of late  
I hope I didn't wake you  
But what I got to say can't wait  
I know you'd understand  
cause every time I tried to tell you  
The words just came out wrong  
So I'll have to say I love you in a song

Yeah, I know it's kind of strange  
But every time I'm near you  
I just run out of things to say  
I know you'd understand  
cause every time I tried to tell you  
The words just came out wrong  
So I'll have to say I love you in a song

cause every time the time was right  
All the words just came out wrong  
So I'll have to say I love you in a song

Yeah, I know it's kind of late  
I hope I didn't wake you  
But there's something that I just got to say  
I know you'd understand  
cause every time I tried to tell you  
The words just came out wrong  
So I'll have to say I love you in a song"

He just hung his head; he wouldn't look her in the eyes. After several minutes where she didn't say anything Harm announced "I'll just go, have a nice life Sarah Mackenzie, I will always love you."

"Please don't go." Mac chocked out between sobs. "Do you really mean it? If you really mean it, please don't abandon me again."

"Sarah, I just learned this song, came over here in the middle of the night, and sang to you. Either I am completely madly in love with you or I am certifiable. I don't ever want to have to live with out you any longer."

"I love you to Harm, but I need to know you won't hurt me."

"How could I hurt you?"

"You've been hurting me since the day we met. That has to stop."

"I'm so sorry! I didn't realize. I'm so sorry!" He got down on his knees in front of her and stared into her eyes, "I promise from this day forward I will never hurt you again, knowingly or unknowingly, until the day that I die." He took her hand and gently kissed her hand. "I promise I will take this slowly, if you will have me, to prove to you I am truly committed to you."

"Slowly?" She felt compelled to ask.

"Yes slowly, we, I, have too many issues to deal with this all tonight. I'm going to go now; I'll call you in the morning. I love you Sarah."

"I love you, too Harm. Sleep tight."

**If you free so compelled because of the greatness, or awfulness, of my writing leave me a review. But if you would don't just tell me it sucks, I know this, but I write anyway because I enjoy it, whether you do or not. Have a nice Thanksgiving.**


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